He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
