I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
