I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
this hospital has no fireball
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
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