Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
either way he was missing a nipple.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
