Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
