the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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