One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
