One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
