is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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