broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
