you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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