I need to stop coming to work sober
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
