Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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