How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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