Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
