Where did you get a picture of my penis
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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