He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
