Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
