Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
