Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
