I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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