I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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