Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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