This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Randomize
