i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
