At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
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