Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
you didnt know i had herpes?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
