My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
