Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
