Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
