HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
PANTIES FOUND
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
