Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
