I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Randomize
