she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Quick, to the slutcave!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
