I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
