dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
