Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
There are leaves in my underwear?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
There's even glitter on my cock...
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