It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
