I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
