I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
