hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
kristin has been a bad kristin
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
