I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
