I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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