So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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