Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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