The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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