i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
