haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
