her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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