So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
The air was thick with penises
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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