I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Randomize
