a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
